


dream in despair

by sabotenworld



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M, pwwday3, the violence is v v minimal but let's add a warning anyway, this fic is more gay and soft than tragic like the summary says lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-07-01 02:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15764619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabotenworld/pseuds/sabotenworld
Summary: Guanlin is a mistreated child, until a demon kills his adoptive parents.





	dream in despair

**Author's Note:**

> oh my god this fic is.. a mess.. this was for panwink week day 3 and it's LATE and still needs so much editing like idek if this story is cohesive or anything
> 
> based on horror manga "gedara"! this is gaydara. this was supposed to follow the entire story of the manga but that manga is v v v dark and i just can't write too emotionally draining things like i don't have the mental capacity for that rip... pls do read the manga if you like horror and emotionally draining things!! here is the more light-hearted gay version lmao i even made up my own gay folklore for the sake of this fic icb

Lai Guanlin’s life, to put it simply, is shit.

The only thing he knew about his parents were that his father was a Taiwanese national and that his mother was a prostitute who viewed his birth as a curse. He had grown up an unwanted child in an orphanage, the latest years in his life spent moving from foster home to foster home. The most recent development was a married couple claiming to be relatives of his mother’s, and the orphanage, having a short budget and not enough adoptions going on, letting him go without any formal investigation towards whether or not Guanlin was really biologically related to these people. Guanlin has been living with them for almost a year now, and it’s been like every other foster home he’s been at: him being given little to no food and a tiny room to sleep in, and expected to be grateful for it even though family has been getting monthly provisions from the orphanage for his care.

But nothing Guanlin’s experienced before could ever compare to the shittiness of right now.

A creature Guanlin could never have imagined would even appear in his worst nightmares was now looming right above him. It was massive, taking up almost the entire size of the room, its dark fur covering the overhead light fixture and enveloping Guanlin in darkness. Guanlin backs against the corner of the room as the monster reaches closer to him, clamping his sweaty palms over his mouth to not emit any sound to anger it, as if the large vermilion eyes weren’t directly inspecting him right now. His heart is about to jump out of his chest as he feels hot air from the mouth that had just ripped apart his adoptive relatives. The mangled remains he found splattered all over the living room floor just when he had just come home from school could only be the work of a monster like this.

So this is how his life is going to end. Guanlin would have laughed if he wasn’t so scared. All he ever wanted was a normal family life like every other kid out there, and he’d endured all the messed-up foster families in order to get one someday, and now to be killed by some monster? Guanlin squeezed his eyes shut as the jagged teeth parted slowly.

_“Leave.”_

-

“So, you’re saying a monster did this to your adoptive family?”

Guanlin nods his head in silence. He’s not sure how he got out of that situation alive, but here he was, being questioned on suspicion of his adoptive family’s murder. With no other suspects, Guanlin would probably be put in juvenile detention and eventually jail for this since he was the only one that was found alive at such a horrific scene. He almost wishes he hadn’t survived.

The elderly doctor puts down his clipboard and turns to the policemen taking the case. “The boy’s memory is suffering from the trauma. Better give him time now and have him meet me again later on.”

The police found no evidence of him holding any weapons when his hands and arms were checked and so, much to his surprise, Guanlin was allowed to go home after a short interrogation. He’s driven home by a fairly young but still intimidating policeman.

“You gonna be okay on your own, kid?” Officer Kang Dongho asks him on the road home. The older man is a little gruff but other than that Guanlin is pretty sure he’s a good person inside. “You have enough food at home for dinner?”

Guanlin was never allowed near the refrigerator for fear of being locked in the attic for “stealing”, so he doesn’t know how to answer the officer’s question.

“Not feeling so hungry?” The expression on the officer’s face hardens. “Can’t blame you after going through something like that. You sure you want to stay at that house again? We can arrange something if it’s uncomfortable for you.”

Guanlin smiles at him bitterly. “Where would I go?” Back to the orphanage would be alright. There were some adults there like Jisung who were really nice to him, but he didn’t have any close friends there any more since Daehwi left. Another crappy foster home would be terrible.

Dongho rubs at his stubbly cheek thoughtfully with the hand that wasn’t on the steering wheel. “We can arrange to have you go to a safehouse if you want, but if it’s full right now I can request for you to go to a hotel for a week at most. The house is technically yours now since your relatives don’t have any next in kin, so you can sell it off and then you’ll have money to…”

The words trail off to Guanlin. The house? His? He couldn’t even feel comfortable in that large house as he was always made to do impossible chores to show his gratitude for the opportunity to even live under that roof. And now to have it all to himself? He feels an excitement rising inside of him.

“Hey kid, you even listening?” Dongho looks at him worriedly before starting to drive again after looking at the green light ahead.

“I think I’ll go home tonight, officer,” Guanlin decides.

“You sure about that?” Dongho asks him.

Guanlin nods at him, but Dongho still looks worried and insists that they drive thru some fast food first so he’s sure that Guanlin has food for the night. He also gives Guanlin his phone number in case of emergency.

-

As soon as Guanlin gets home, he sees that everything is already in order. The police must have hired a cleaning crew after the investigation so the house could at least be livable. The old carpet and some of the throw pillows in the living room are gone, probably because of all the blood stains. Guanlin shakes off the memory. He walks to the kitchen and opens the refrigerator for the first time in his life, finding bliss in the form of a half-eaten slice of chocolate cake, a fried chicken leg and some kimchi.

Guanlin takes the piece of cake and closes his eyes as the sweet taste fills his mouth. He’s only had cake once in his life, at a celebrity-sponsored event at the orphanage, and it was one of his best memories. He smiles happily and revels in the moment of freedom. This was his house now. He could do whatever he wanted, watch TV all he wanted and maybe even learn how to operate that laptop his aunt was always using.

His only problem was money. Guanlin was in high school now so he could probably get a part-time job somewhere, but he’s not sure if the money he earns will be enough for living expenses. He shrugs off the problem as one he could solve easily and digs back in to his cake.

Guanlin is jolted out of his peaceful cake-eating when he hears the loud creaking from upstairs… The attic?

That was one place Guanlin really didn’t like in this house. When he was a little younger this was where his adoptive relatives locked him up when they didn’t like the way he cleaned the floors or the kitchen stove.

Those things were never going to happen again. Guanlin was going to be happy at this house, _his_ house, and with that resolve he grabs a flashlight and the biggest knife he can find in the dish rack and climbs up to the attic.

“Monster! Show yourself!” Guanlin yelps into the darkness as he gets to the top of the stairs to the attic, brandishing the knife.

There is silence. Guanlin can’t hear anything but his own pounding heart and uneven breathing.

“Are you gone now?” he asks loudly. He _hopes_ the monster is gone, because he wouldn’t stand a chance if he had to face _that_ again. What if it was just a figment of Guanlin’s imagination? He laughs to himself. “You better be! Because this is my house now and I’m not sharing it with some-“

“Rude.”

Guanlin’s heart skips a beat and he frantically waves the flashlight in search of the owner of the voice.

Instead of the monster what he sees is a boy around his age, wearing a dirty sweatshirt and pants. He’s sitting on the floor, leaning against one of the dusty boxes containing whatever junk Guanlin’s relatives wanted to keep hidden from the world. How did this guy even get here? Did the police leave the door unlocked?

“Calling someone a monster is rude,” the boy scolds him with a slight pout.

“W-Who are you?” Guanlin asks him loudly.

“Jihoon,” the boy says simply. “I live here. Now get out, I already let you live and I’m not planning on eating meals that aren’t delicious.”

Guanlin’s feels a lump on his throat. “A-Are you…”

“Monster. Yeah. That’s what you called me. I’m a demon though.” Jihoon laughs and gets up to curiously look at Guanlin, who tightens his grip on the knife. He’s a lot shorter than Guanlin in this human form but Guanlin isn’t sure he can take him if he goes back to that horrifying form. “I think monsters are people who adopt children and then mistreat them by not feeding them well and locking them in attics, and then plan to murder them to get insurance money,” Jihoon says thoughtfully, tapping his chin with a smile that Guanlin doesn’t think is as scary as the contents of what he’s saying.

“Murder..?” Guanlin already knew his adoptive parents weren’t nice people: they spent almost no money on him, never buying him new clothes and even thinking of feeding him as a waste of food… But to actually plan on murdering him? That was a whole other level of not being nice.

“Uh-huh,” Jihoon confirms with a grin. He moves closer to whisper in Guanlin’s ear: “Now you see how I’ve already let you live twice in a row now? If you still want to continue being alive then leave this house.”

Guanlin’s blood runs cold as Jihoon moves back to stare at him. If he doesn’t leave now he’ll end up like his adoptive parents, whose remains resembled scrap meat instead of human bodies. “I…”

It’s his house now. For the first time in his life he had a place to stay, and it was going to be hard to look after it by himself but Guanlin has had enough experience depending on parent figures all his life and knew he could do much better by himself.

He wasn’t going to lose this place.

“This… This is my house…” Guanlin stutters. It sounds stupid and weak, so he grips the wooden handle of the chopping knife with his sweaty hand to boost his confidence. “This is my house,” he repeats much louder this time.

“No it’s not,” Jihoon clarifies childishly. “I’ve been living here for twenty years now. I’m not giving it to some brat.”

“If you kill me,” Guanlin starts again slowly. He thinks quickly of an argument. “If you kill me, what will happen is the government takes this house.”

Jihoon looks bored. “And so? I don’t care about any human rules.”

“So… If it becomes government property, then most likely the government doesn’t need an old house like this. And they’ll destroy it.”

Jihoon visibly flinches.

“And they’ll make it into something dumb,” Guanlin says louder. He thinks he sounds a lot more convincing now. “Like a preschool or a daycare or something where you can’t stay kill people for a long time like this old house because it’ll cause too much of a stir and they’ll exorcise you.”

Now Jihoon looks pissed. His eyebrows furrow and even in the dark Guanlin can tell that he’s chewing on his lip in… Fear?

Checkmate.

“So what do you say? Either _you_ leave, or I let you stay here, since you let me live,” Guanlin bargains. “But you don’t get to eat anyone. Okay?”

-

The first few days of living alone are peaceful. Guanlin was given money to live on for a while by the government and some teachers from his high school donated some food. The policeman who drove him home the day his adoptive parents died, Kang Dongho, even pops up once in a while to check on him.

The only problem was the constant creaking coming from the attic. It just made Guanlin jumpy and unsafe, like the childhood fear of having a monster in your house, only Guanlin really _had_ a monster in his house. He decides to come up to the attic one evening to check if Jihoon was doing something horrible to someone and to ask if he could please turn down the creaking because it was creeping him the fuck out.

Guanlin finds Jihoon on the attic floor rolling around slightly. The other boy stops and sits up when he sees him, putting a hand up to shield his eyes from the flashlight Guanlin is pointing at him.

“Oh, hey Guanlin,” Jihoon greets him casually. “What’s up?”

“Just wanted to check on you I guess.” Guanlin points the flashlight all over the room, relieved to find only a bunch of boxes of stuff and no dead bodies.

“What, you think there are dead bodies in here?” Jihoon laughs at him. “You would smell it if there were any.”

Guanlin narrows his eyes at him, unconvinced. “You want to come down? It’s pretty cold up here, and you keep making those creaky noises.”

“You just want to keep an eye on me,” Jihoon says with a yawn. He stands up, to Guanlin’s surprise. “Well, I am pretty bored so I’ll go with you.”

Guanlin blinks. “You will?”

“Yeah? Or would you rather I stay here and walk around so the floor makes the creaking noises you hate?” Jihoon asks teasingly.

The two of them climb down the stairs and Guanlin sees Jihoon in the light for the first time. His short black hair is a mess and his clothes, a sweatshirt and pants, are gray from the dust. His face is cakes with dirt as well.

“You should shower,” Guanlin decides once he's looked him over.

Jihoon looks offended.

“I mean, you've been in that dusty attic for so long,” Guanlin says quickly to pacify him.

After a long shower, Jihoon emerges in the clothes Guanlin lent him: a pink sweater and pajama pants, toweling off his hair. “Wow, that did feel good,” Jihoon announce as he walks into the kitchen where Guanlin is cooking ramyeon for dinner. He cocks one eyebrow. “What?”

“Nothing.” Guanlin closes the mouth he had unconsciously opened. Jihoon was… Cute. His upturned eyes reflected the kitchen lights in a way that made them sparkle, and the rest of his face were without flaws too. “You look nice,” he blurts out.

“Yeah?” Jihoon scratches his cheek in embarrassment, smiling sheepishly. “Thank you. I like the color of this sweater.”

They eat dinner together at the small dining table. Guanlin insisted that Jihoon eat dinner with him, even though the other argued back that he didn't really need human food to live and Guanlin should save the food for himself.

Guanlin slurped up his noodles and soup happily. It's the first time he's eating dinner at home with someone else, and Jihoon seems just like any other kid his age.

“So how long have you been living here?” Guanlin asks in an effort to make conversation.

“For as long as this house has been around,” Jihoon says through a mouthful of noodles. “Around twenty years. I'm the demon for this house.”

“For this house? Then are there other house demons?”

“Yeah, every house has one,” Jihoon explains, looking at Guanlin strangely like this was common knowledge. “We're kind of the spirits of houses.”

“Why did you kill my adoptive parents then?” Guanlin wants to know. He just thought that this house was just cursed and that was why there was a people-eating demon.

“Those people were delicious.” Jihoon smiles like it was a happy memory,which Guanlin finds very disturbing. “The purpose of house demons are to ensure that people living in their houses don't do horrible things. We make sure they're punished when they do and we get _really_ hungry when people are particularly evil. Evil is the spice of life!” he says with a cackle.

“So, like a reverse guardian angel,” Guanlin clarifies.

“What the hell is that?” Jihoon wants to know. The concept of spirits protecting humans is foreign to him.

Guanlin spends the rest of dinner explaining everything he had learned in school about guardian angels, and wondering if other house demons were as handsome as the one in his house.

-

They say good night and head off to bed after brushing their teeth and washing their faces side by side at the bathroom sink. Jihoon insists that he still sleep at the attic because it's more comfortable for hin and Guanlin argues right back that Jihoon take an old mattress and some pillows up to the attic to be more comfortable. The two of them agree that they should clean the attic some time so Jihoon isn't all dusty from staying there all the time.

The king sized bed is soft and comfortable, but it's still hard for Guanlin to sleep alone.

"Can we sleep together?" Guanlin asks once he reaches the top of the stairs to the attic. He has his sleeping bag and pillow with him, and a comforter in case it got chilly.  
  
Jihoon props his head up on his hand to raise an eyebrow at him. "Why? Didn't you say the attic was cold and I should sleep in your parents' room instead?"  
  
"Just 'cause I feel safer with someone else around," Guanlin explains. His unrolls his sleeping bag beside Jihoon on the floor and fluffs up his pillow before lying down, covering himself with the comforter.  
  
"Safer, huh? " Jihoon chuckles. He lies back down against his pillow to stare at the ceiling. "Aren't you afraid of me, kid?"  
  
Guanlin shrugs despite knowing that Jihoon can't see him. "At first I was. But now I think it's nice to have you here." He smiles at Jihoon in the dark, who looks slightly taken aback by the gesture. "Hyung - I can call you that since you're older, right? Jihoon hyung, you're kind."  
  
"Kind?" That has Jihoon laughing again, throwing his head back against his pillow. "Have you forgotten about your foster parents being eaten alive?"  
  
“No one can forget something like that. But I forgive you.” Guanlin scoots a little closer to Jihoon. “Because it feels like you were protecting me.”

Jihoon is quiet after that, and Guanlin turns his back towards him to try to sleep again. He hears Jihoon get up and the mattress being shuffled, looking up to see Jihoon moving the mattress closer to lie down next to him.

“I was, ” Jihoon says quietly. He takes Guanlin’s hand in his, intertwining the bony fingers with his own short fingers loosely. “I was always looking at you. They were always treating you badly, locking you up here and not feeding you well. I saw everything. You had every right to hate them, and you never did. You were just hopeful that things were going to get better once you got through everything.”

Guanlin smiles. It was Jihoon, the one who pulled him out of his miserable life, who saved him from his life ending before it could get any better. He pulls Jihoon into a tight embrace, and the older boy hugs him back just as tight. “Thank you.”

“Things will get better from now on.” Jihoon's voice is soothing and Guanlon believed him. “Just keep being kind… So I don't have to eat you.”

Guanlin laughs at that. “So that's the only reason why I'm alive now?”

“Yeah. Why would I eat someone pure? You would taste disgusting.” Guanlin can hear the smile in his voice.

“Why did you want to get rid of me though?” Guanlin is genuinely curious. “You were really scary at first.”

“Ugh.” Jihoon burrows further against Guanlin’s chest, embarrassed.

“What? Tell me!” Various pokes on the stomach has Jihoon moving back and giggling.

“Because! You're really cute, okay!” Jihoon admits in defeat. “And you just saw me eating people and had an image to keep up, how was I supposed to flirt after that? Good night.” Jihoon covers himself head to toe with the comforter.

Guanlin smiles to himself. He cuddles Jihoon again, and while the other is embarrassed he still relaxes under Guanlin’s touch after a while. “Good night, handsome demon.”


End file.
